Wednesday, 18 May 2016

Arsehole Force - Or, How To Mis-Sort A 6 Foot Long Consignment

Oh I was up and bout this morning and full of the joys of Spring, because my new 6foot layout by the venerable and talented Steve Hornsey was going to be delivered.

I got to my desk by 7:27 and completed a full day's work in 4 hours, resulting in a cricked neck. My brother came to help his arthritic elder sibling in getting said steel railed bundle of lust fodder, up to the highest point of the Dark Tower.

Then, at about 13:15, Steve emailed me to let me know that my layout (no fault of his) was in Oxford because those wonderful people at Parcel Force, had mis-sorted it and instead of arriving at the Dark Tower, it was instead spending a day sightseeing in the city of dreaming spires.

I was on the phone to PF in a minute, and was told that 'because it was a 48 hour delivery' it would 'not reach you util Friday as it will still be redirected by 48 hour service'. When I pointed out that 48 and 96 hours are not one and the same the vile little reprobate at the other end (I think he was called Richard, which may go some way to explaining his manners) sniggered and put me on hold.

Livid? I could have torn off his head and filled it with pig's offal (it would have been an improvement)...

Well, I put down the phone, and instead went over to my local depot to collect 6 kilos of Ral Partha Orcs, Goblins and associated goodness.

This went some way to soothing my temper, for as those who know me will tell you, I can give a demon a damned close run for it's money in the unholy rage stakes.

Upon returning, I called PF again, and a lovely lady by the name of Linda, informed me that I had been fed a line, and that she would do everything in her power to get my layout on the truck and up to Sheffield for Thursday. She even said she'd chase it up in the morning and let me know the status, which was very nice of her and made up for Richard The Turd, an hour earlier.

We shall see what comes of this, but with the exception of Linda and the staff of my local office in Rotherham, all of whom have always been true gems, I will think of that company in future as 'Arsehole Force'.


TTFN

2 comments:

  1. Surely you mean 'Parcelfarce'...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Words have been had again this morning... It's still not here.

    ReplyDelete

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