On Armies, Addiction And Knowing When To Just Say No...

Where have all the armies gone?

I was speaking to several people over the bank holiday weekend, and with one 50 year gaming veteran just yesterday for a good hour or so, and the same question came up each time.

You just don't see collections on the table apart from at some shows, and then it's older gamers who were brought up an a diet of Weisencraft, Featherstone, Gush, Gilder, Wise et al (If you don't know at least two of those names then shame on you and nothing less, you ignoramuses - have 'ignorami' if you prefer but the 17th century evolution of the word looks nicer) and who have actually read books rather than get their kicks on Netflix.

True, I was raised on a diet of war films from the 50s and 60s, which were on every weekend, and caused many a box of Airfix figures to be sold, as many will attest.

I put it down to the modern gamers growing up with the idea that wargaming is something they can afford to do, but working in gig economies and wanting to do everything on a budget of nothing is notgoing to work

 

Plus, they seem to have a generational ADHD and make the gadfly ways of those I 'came up' with look positively tame. Look, wargamers sell and swap in the same way rabbits fuck - frequently and without thought - but I remember even a mere 30 years ago, being able to walk up to a bring and buy at a show, and shell out a grand or more on an army. 

 

Those of you who were present at Derby one year - 1996 iirc - may remember I had to empty my wallet and take off both shoes to pay for a rather nice 28mm Marlburian collection, much to the amusement of onlookers. And this was when I kept £500 in wallet and each shoe with another wad in reserve in the capable hands of Kayte (never should I be allowed all my spending money, without a check & balance system in place).

Two weeks ago, I picked up two sizeable armies for £70 each! To paraphrase Van Halen, where have the good toys gone? I go 'loaded for bear' and if I am lucky these days, maybe bag a rabbit.

Nobody collects armies anymore... I mean, real armies, and not 40 figure forces.

I think that when your rules and peripherals cost as much as the models, if not more, then you are on a slippery slope to perdition.

I am partial to a skirmish or two, as you know, but those games are not involving armies.  In fact, I am thinking of buying some Home Guard and German paras and doing a bit of skirmish set in the Pennines or North Yorkshire Moors, with the Falsch' taking farms and hamlets, one by one, with locals and Home Guard doing their best to hold the line... Nothing big at all, but with all those lovely Grand Manner farm buildings and the church, sitting in the games room - you get the idea.

 

But, I digress...

 

One of the joys of this hobby has been to see tidily painted models in rank upon rank, advancing over miniature terrain. Painting could be highly  detailed or just very neat block - when you have a few hundred models, they look good either way. Likewise, terrain varied from the simple 'sand table' to the likes of the Falkenburg Castle display game, or the sublime 15mm fantasy display I saw in the 80s at Triples, put on by a dedicated university wargames group, on model railway grade terrain.

Even The Player's Guild built fantastic disoplay games from basically polysyrene and cardboard and look what they did.

'It's easy for you, you wealthy entitled bastard...' I hear some of you possibly crying. But look, I work hard and sacrifice other 'pleasures' to be able to wargame in a way I choose. I stopped drinking wine and saved a decent 4 figure sume per annum, and guess what? My collection grew. Money saved during the Lockdown fiasco was redirected into the construction of the wargames room and paying for several thousand fantasy figures which had been languishing for 30+ years to be painted.

And believe me, I and others have known real fucking poverty, feeding two people on £7 per week which, even in 1988 was a pittance. So, yeah, I do 'know what it's like' and I tell you here and now, that at that point and a couple of other times, had I not been genuinely addicted to wargaming, I should have just walked away and saved people around me ( I was oblivious to it ) a lot of pain and suffering.

 

I still gamed and in 1990 it took me a year to save to buy 144 Hinchcliffe Napoleonic French to represent a 1:60 ratio (12 figures) infantry division. Boy that was a low point... Equivalent to snorting baking soda cut with Lemsip. I should have given up, there and then.

 

If it get's like this, put wellbeing and relationships first. A lesson I could have done with learning a long time ago.

In fact, how many times do you see 'Selling to pay the rent/mortgage/food bill' posts? Really - and I point to myself here as much as anyone else - if you are at that point, just give up with the toy soldiers. You will never get back what you paid for the plastic and metal junk - and 3D printed crap you may just as well bin - and what are you going to sell next week to meet those obligations?

However, if you are going to indulge in what is a frighteningly expensive hobby (the cost of models are about 80% above where they should be, over 30 years like for like) then for heaven's sake make a plan.

Find a period you know you will always be able to return to and get value from emotionally.

Plastic is OK, but metal has a scrap metal value at the very worst

Start with two forces, which may be skirmish in nature, but which can evolve into a regiment or two along the way (TIP: I always have two regiments on single bases in a given collection, to allow skirmish gaming without a separate collection beng required) then aim for a brigade sized collection and so on, if you cant or don't want to shell out all in one go.

Develop a comfortable painting style and stick to it. This will, if you have to part with an army, increase the desirability of it. Ignore those who sneer and say your collection is 'tabletop standard';. This is a modern conceit and means fuck all. In fact, it means that those models are for playing tabletop games with - the whole point of wargaming, surely.

Look for second hand stuff. If buying from a dealer, remember that they will be probably looking at best to pay double figure cost for a well turned out figure and will sell it at considerably more. And by that I mean that if that was a 10p model in the 80s that's the price they will double in their calculations, whilst tripling at least based on current prices.

Look to buy or sell to a fellow gamer, because those models will get or have been in receipt of real love.

If you have children or grandchildren who love your models, then leaving them a finely painted army is the greatest gift a gamer can give. An army reflects it's owner's enthusiasm.

Yes, it may mean that you have to focus on one thing for a while but it's worth it and in my humble opinion, patience is something most gamers need to learn.

But please, think about building armies which look like their historical counterparts and use rules which facilitate this. Shun high price tag 'boutique' systems and remember that no 'Big Box' game contains all you need. There is always something missing and you will pay a premium for it.

Right, if you will excuse me, I need to go and earn a few shekels to feed my habit...

TTFN