Thursday, 11 January 2018


If anyone reading this or known to one of my readers, is selling a collection of 25/28mm Late Medieval or Renaissance figures, please drop me a line by commenting below. Only I will see your details of course.

If you are going to Vapnartak on Feb 4th we could meet there or alternatively, I am happy to do the deal by post.


Tuesday, 9 January 2018

I Don't Care What He Says, It was Roger's Fault...

So, I was distracted yesterday by this damned bronchial problem, so I was painting, listening to documentaries and mulling over a few things simultaneously to keep my mind off just how rough I feel at present.

You will recall that yesterday I blamed an old, old friend by the name of Roger for my return to the Renaissance? Well, I stand by that, but it also occurred to me just why...

I will point out from the start that I received a rather indignant mail from Roger this very morning as I turned on my Mac, decrying my position and claiming falsely that he could not have the blame laid at his door.  Well Roger, yes you can, and I am doing.

I realised yesterday that my favourite periods are actually driven by more than just academic or aesthetic reasons. It's about who I gamed those periods with and moreover the memories that are stirred when I look at a particular type or make of figure.

I think that Roger and I, along with a couple of other people, were closer than the Famous Five 'back in the day'. I mean we literally lived in each other's homes during the school holidays, we gamed and we gamed hard (It was Roger who justified a common bond between a Polish and a Gaelic speaking character in Twilight 2000 based on their inability to be understood by the rest of the party, and he did it convincingly).

It was Roger who first turned me on to Connoisseur Miniatures because I am sure that Roger had a shrine to the late Peter Gilder somewhere under his bed. The renaissance range was stunning for the time and Duncan MacFarlane published some great shots of the Wargames Holiday Centre with massive pike blocks which just 'sang' to me.

Look, when you listen to prog rock and you have bands like Jethro Tull and Marillion (and as I type I am listening to 'Walk Into Light' by Tull front man Ian Anderson because it makes me think of those days gaming Roger or talking gaming whilst he strummed away following his latest guitar lesson) you are exposed to codpieces and motley a lot, which, inevitably leads to unwholesome thoughts of Landsknecht pike blocks, OK?

This, along with Q.T Models range of multi-part renaissance models and Roger's shelves full of them, in particular one Landsknecht in white and green with a deep vermillion beret - which is the first model I think of when I get the Renaissance bug - draw me back time and time again. I then think of the good times we had - and still may have - and in fact today I made a conscious decision to erase the odd 'bad' memory once and for all as I stood drying my hair after the morning shower, because quite frankly, life is too bloody short, isn't it? and I am at the wrong end of half a century now.

The idea of spending a day, just shooting the breeze with Roger, moving a few toy soldiers and exchanging dry and sarcastic observations is a priceless one. Maybe it will happen, maybe not, but this kind of thing is exactly what I mean when I say that there's more to a period than the period. It really is for me, one of the driving reasons I am still so in love with my hobby. I and others, although from the same city would never have met had it not been for wargaming and role playing. That makes it a very special hobby indeed. It challenged us all intellectually and socially . It opened us all up to a much wider world, and I think that we all realised that we could be more than just carbon copied youths destined for the factory floor.

So, yes my dear friend, it is your fault - yours and that Gilder fellow - and I thank you and the Powers That Preserve for drawing me down that parti-coloured path to perdition.

Now, I just have to resist the urge to buy unpainted Q.T Models rather than trying to find a ready painted army...


Monday, 8 January 2018

Of Lurgy, 1979 And The Accursed Roger...

Well, as my friend Roger just pointed out via email, it's been 'ages' since I posted. Well, Roger, here you go old chap, a brief update...

I've been horrendously busy since my return to the studio last Tuesday and doubly so because I've been working on 15mm Napoleonics for which I have an unreasonable level of loathing and which, added to recovering from bronchitis made my days hellish.

By Friday I was feeling pretty good and then at around 18:10 on Saturday night I was struck down again, worse than before. The fact that I take Methotrexate for my arthritis, which suppresses the immune system has certainly not helped and I confess that  feel as rough as hell at present, with another full week of 15mm Napoleonics ahead of me.

On the gaming front, whilst I am still waiting for my Elheim 20mm Cold War British to arrive, my 'Winter of '79' rules and supplement arrived on Friday. They look pretty good and are beautifully presented. I do have a few issues with the background covering Yorkshire, and in particular my home city which is viewed with some suspicion by the rest of the county. So, I am currently sketching out some ideas for a Sheffield source book with scenarios utilising some of the unique (at the time) architectural and social features of the city.

I'll also be re-watching the excellent 'Threads', (a film which I had a small part in), because it's very much 'of the time' for the WO79 rules.

And now to the last part of the title, and yes, I am looking at you, Roger...

Roger and I, back in the day were not only big fans of Q.T miniatures, but we also dabbled in many periods. One of these was the renaissance, and I shudder to think how many we painted in our prime.

Well, my chum mentioned that he was rekindling his interest in the period, and in 28mm, so try as I might to resist the temptation, I have been drawn back towards the great and gaudy Satan, which is the 16th century wargame.

Thank you Roger!

Speaking of which, if anyone has any painted 28m Renaissance and are going to Vapnartak, drop me a line here, as I will be interested in giving you hard cash for them (and so may Roger I'll wager).

So, I'll say farewell for the moment and if I am a bit quiet, it's simply workload and health.


Monday, 1 January 2018

And Just Around The Corner, Is The English Civil War...

Firstly, let me open the first post of 2018 with a very warm and hearty 'HAPPYYYY NEEEEEEW YEEAAARRR!'

OK, now that's out of the way, we can get back to the serious stuff :)

I've spent the last week rather poorly with bronchitis, and whilst I am not fully recovered by any stretch of the imagination, the antibiotics are coursing through my veins and I am back at my desk at 6AM in the morning cracking on with another fully booked year of painting. Civilisations may rise, empires may fall, but Conflict In Colour must always soldier on regardless!

Whilst I have spent many hours in hot and steaming baths this so-called holiday, I have pondered on what I want to do this coming year as I wind down my buying of lead ahead of my 50th birthday.

As you may recall, VBCW was on the cards, but I confess, I don't quite 'connect' with it. But, then I remembered a blog entitled 'Winter Of '79' with the premise that after Margaret Thatcher came to power, there would be a collapse of the U.K and a bitter civil war, as Left battled Right and all of the other politically charged causes of that era which I remember so well, all came to a head.

So, I took the trusty Pad into the bath and did a search or two, to find that there are now some lovely looking and seemingly sensible rules, plenty of metal Cold War figures and civilians and of course the traditional plastic kits and figures.

Of course there are also tons of buildings in assorted media, meant for model railways which are perfect too, so it does look like this one has legs and some real possibilities for 'true to life' what-if scenarios free of armed football teams and gun toting W.I groups.

And so, as I actually feel like painting a platoon myself I ordered a standard British platoon made up of PHQ and 3 x 8 man sections with some M.Ps, a dog handler a nice vignette of squaddies brewing up whilst a mate takes their photo ('Dear Mum, here are me and the lads, having a break in-between rounds of killing striking Yorkshire miners...') and a couple of other bits and pieces to represent attachments from the battalion. All models were ordered from Elheim and look jolly pretty.

Of course, it may be that the Falklands fall, the Warsaw Pact infiltrate or simply go nuclear, dissidents  manage to get into Greenham Common or that the I.R.A become even bolder and mobilise. Maybe the Tooting Popular Front will actually become something more than taproom Trostkyites. Who can tell?

Whatever way the alternate history goes, it could actually pan out into a rather nice 'period' which does not cost that much in the big picture of things.

We shall see...

Anyway, if you will excuse me I have 18 hours of freedom before I must return, unrefreshed to the painting desk, so I shall bid you a very fine farewell for the present.

Hope your gaming in 2018 is all you could wish for.


Monday, 25 December 2017

And Now, Some Serious Eye Candy For Christmas Day...

And now, I can show you all what I was working on for the 60 hours prior to my Christmas close-down. These were commissioned by William, the son old friend, Andrew Needham, as a Christmas gift.

For my part I was of course paid, but because Andy is a Grognard of many years standing in my own affections, I went a bit further to make them special and convey a son's love for his dad.

I did show these to another gamer who immediately asked for the same and was refused. I will only ever paint these once in 15mm. They are dated and signed and Will is a lad to be treasured in my opinion.
For my part, I'm proud of this unit and although it was a tight schedule, it has been a pleasure to see Andy's response today.

A Christmas Post...

Well, I woke up this morning with that certain self-knowledge that I was on the brink of entering the arena of the unwell. Tight chest, cough, general feeling of unwellness. Sure enough, as I write, I have the sweats, a dry cough, sore throat, temperature and feel very rough. Just in time for the great day when I had planned to eat a lot of dead wildlife with numerous roasted tubers.


So, I've double dosed on vitamins, C, D and zinc, sucked a Bronchostop pastille and partaken of the lemon flu powder, as the memsahib prepares tuna mayonnaise for a round or two of sandwiches.

Anyway, it's been a fun day despite the caress of Death touching my brow, as we finished the last few  bits of shopping and I decided that I'd been a very good boy this year and deserving of  half a dozen formal shirts from T.M Lewin of Jermyn Street who make the very best 'off the peg' shirting you can buy. Like I said, I've been very good this year.

The memsahib was preparing the various meats for Monday's table, but the pork, being freshly slaughtered, retained a skin elasticity that would make a Hollywood Housewife proud. The problem therefore is that even the sharpest kitchen knife struggles.

And then, I had an idea...

'Nip into my studio and grab a fresh No10 blade and size 3 Swann Morton handle.'

That's right, a surgical scalpel cuts pig skin rather wonderfully. Alas, I also did for my finger and was squirting like a porn star, albeit squirting 'claret'.


I'm picking up the story this morning, December 25th after a really rather awful night of fever, bronchial pain, mucus and the most horrific nightmares, so forgive me if I lack my usual sparkle.

I had meant to finish off last night, with a little warmer's tale of how I'd received a 1p piece in my change whilst on a foray in Derbyshire on Friday which upon inspection bore the unmistakeable marks of having once belonged to a fellow gamer:

With the shape it would appear to have house either a Minifigs or Airfix model, but what is more fascinating for me is that it's the first time in almost 4 decades - and despite the number of misused coins in gamer's collections - that I have received one in an innocent mercantile exchange.

This morning as I have already hinted, I awoke feeling very poorly indeed, and although I do feel a bit better,  know I'll have the same bloody awful symptoms every morning for the next week or so.

And so, apart from bronchitis, what did St. Nick bring upon this fair morn?

Well actually, the most exciting haul since the year  received the 'Prince Charming' album by Adam & The Ants and a collection of electronic arcade games.

From the memsahib:
Stuhrling chronograph

Versace 'The Dreamer'

From The parents:
Cravat pin
Monogrammed leather case with hip flask
Shooting stick

From brother and sister in law
Personalised crystal brandy glass
Courvoisier cognac

From my brother:
The complete series of that 80s classic 'Chance In A Million'

And now, if you will excuse me, I do need to go and have a long hot soak to ease my chest a little.

May your festive period be a happy and peaceful one!


Wednesday, 20 December 2017

On The Subject Of Materials

I have had a couple of emails about the materials I use, so rather than keep replying to those, I'll write a little here.

First of all, I paint in all scales from 1/6000 up to about 110mm so, I need versatile paints which are as consistent as possible and which are readily available, as well as which have excellent opacity.

I am not and never will be a wash and dip type of painter, because it's pretty lazy and often ugly in my own personal opinion. I also paint 40-50 hours per week and I am on a tight schedule, so performance is very, very important to me.

90% of the paints I use are Vallejo Model Color which I have used since they were first released in the U.K when I was the owner of Dungeons & Starships. I always liked the fact that I could call Eugenie Safranek in person at Vallejo and give feedback and suggestions - and be taken seriously.

I've painted for 38 years now, with almost 2 dozen placings at 1st an 2nd in competitions (there were lower placings, but they were trashed) so I've pretty much run the gauntlet of mediums and brands. In my formative years I used enamels as well as Bobcat and Poly S acrylics, then graduated onto the original Citadel Colour when they were released. Those Citadel paints were never improved upon by GW in terms of coverage, particularly the first two sets.

Vallejo paints were a game changer as they brought the quality of paint my generation were used to, to a younger audience who had thought that the piss poor Citadel ranges of the early 90s were actually good. Conversely, a generation of painters learned to paint to a high standard with inferior materials, making them competent brush-men.

Now I use a mix of the Vallejo Model Color and Vallejo Arte Deco lines as they meet all my requirements and check boxes although I am now importing the paints as I use them in bulk. Yesterday I ordered 350 colours for the 2018 painting year, around 100 of which will probably not be used, but I have them just in case.

I replace all of my paints every December and generally give away the previous set, thus keeping my colours fresh and also allowing for changes to formulation and shades.

I augment this with the Army Painter Quickshade inks, mostly for defining micro armour and weathering, but I don't wash as part of the shading proces as I really do find it to be lazy.

I also keep the Tamiya clear colours and a full set of Winsor and Newton inks which are really only for my own stuff, when I feel like a trip down Nostalgia Lane. You'll not find me using them on contract work.

Brushes are very important to me. I started using Rosemary & Co brushes about 10 years ago,as they are hand made, superb quality and very cost effective. Remember that I always have about 50 brushes on my desk at any time.

I use the pure sable series 92 ultra fine brushes ib sizes 4/0, 7/0 and 10/0 and the red squirrel and nylon blend series 401 in 0 to 2 with a few series 768 flats. The reson that I use the blend of brushes for 'standard' sized tips is that the real hair holds the charge whilst the nylon gives a snap and spring. You can reshape these brushes with 5-10 seconds in boiling water.

I rotate several of the same sized brush at any given time and as with my paints, replenish them annually, with retired brushes going into a brush dump for other modelling jobs. Generally, my brushes manage well over 1000 hours before being retired.

Varnishing is often overlooked. You will reap what you sow and take it from me, I have a real passion for the right varnishes.

I start with either a Montana Gold or MTN94 high gloss anti-uv spray varnish which, brings up the colours, smooths the models and solidly protects them.

When that is dry in around 30 minutes, I use Winsor & Newton Profesional matt varnish again in a spray, which dries superbly matt and which, can be removed if required.

This is not cheap, - none of my materials are - but it is by far and away the best finish you'll get.

I clean my brushes with Speedball Pink Soap every so often which treats the bristles too.

And that's about it. I hope that answers any questions fully.

Tuesday, 12 December 2017

Keeping The Hobby On The Q.T...

One of the quietest re-launches I've seen for some time, of classic and groundbreaking figures, has been that of the former Amazon Miniatures range, which included iconic ranges including Dixon and Q.T models.

Amazon which operated out of a hardware and tools place somewhere over in Mordor (or as those who don't hail from Yorkshire call it, Lancashire) basically disappeared up it's own arse. I'd even dropped them a line about buying the Q.T ranges but they never responded (probably seeking euphoric solace  in a backstreet black pudding den in Burnley), so it looked as if the range was dead.

Then, by chance, I came across an advert on Facebook for a company called Wargames Design Workshop (when will people stop trying to use 'games' and 'workshop' in business names)and checking the link out, it proved to be the new home of all the old Amazon Miniatures ranges, and thus a return of some of the iconic ranges of my youth.

Now, I love the old 'balloon head' Dixons Landsknecht range and their rather nice fantasy range, but the Q.T ranges held a generation of lads in a state of almost reverential ecstasy in the very early 80s.

It was not unknown for either myself or Roger Smith (he of the Cult Of Gilder) to purchase a couple of hundred models on a whim either by mail order of even better, by visiting Dave Hoyles' 'Q.T Models' shop in the middle of Bridlington where, we could pick the heads, weapons and bodies which we preferred and the ever patient and always genial Dave would cast up anything we needed whilst we went of for lunch or a general East coast mooch for the local skirt if it was the summer holidays.

The thing with Dave, was that he was so enthusiastic about his hobby and didn't treat kids as if they were a plague, even if perhaps he thought  or in fact we actually were. Tis meant that he got a lot of our pocket money and in turn we got to meet people in the trade as we got older and joined in conversations at conventions as we got older.

The beauty of the Q.T range, was the fact that they were multi-part castings in a similar style to the Lamming ranges and once you'd seen a Q.T pike block armed with steel upholstery pins A La Dave Hoyles, it was hard to accept the cast-on offerings of other manufacturers. This was before the current  'norm' of steel pins being commonly available. No sir, you could get the pins from Dave by the box full and many a Connoisseur pike block was similarly retro-fitted.

Many a fucked up finger was caused by clumsy allies or opponents, and in one memorable game, an opponent of mine put is hand down fast and without looking, ending up with a pike block in his palm. You are thinking 'But the pike would have snapped off...' but you'd be wrong because Q.T figures were not 'open handed' so there was nowhere for the pike to separate from the model.

The Q.T fantasy range was a bit of fun, and the 15mm 'Street Football' range was ahead of the pack when it was released.

Those of you who remember the Heroes Miniatures range of 25mm gridiron players will also recall that these were sculpted by Dave Hoyles.

Dave's style and posing were unique and like 'Marmite', but, when you got a unit positioned on the bases, very few manufacturers could hold a torch to the Q.T figures because they had real character. Not that 'snide' use of the term, but real 100% character because you could have ten figures which were all made up from the same components, but all looking in different directions.

The Greek range was by far the best on the market. More fool you if you looked into one of Dave's display cabinets with a pocketful of money, because odds on you were going home with more Hoplites and one arm longer than the other.

Roger and I must have painted hundreds of the renaissance range over the years and more than our share of the Greeks.

Dave of course moved into 15mm with his Museum Miniatures ranges, but whilst they are very much in the style of the older 25mm ranges, they don't have that nostalgic whiff about them.

WDW are selling the figures in packs of 8 for a reasonable and trend-bucking £8 . I hope this continues and that they are getting orders in volumes that will keep the prices low, because  it would be a shame to see the models vanish from the scene due to pricing themselves out of the market.

You can see what WDW have to offer by following this link:

These are proper old school models at very reasonable prices, so drop your snobbish attitude if you have one, and buy some eternal classics.

Go on... Do it now!


PS: Roger Smith 'suggested' I blog about Q.T, but to be honest I'd have done so anyway, sooner or later...

Sunday, 10 December 2017

Ringworld & It's Place In My Life

Back in 1984, I was sat in my Dad's car on a warm Friday evening, around 6PM, opening the latest White Dwarf  - which was still a great magazine then and not the nightmarish monstrosity it is today - when out fell issue 2 of The Black Sun fanzine - Why they named a fanzine after a Nazi order is beyond me. OK, I know it's a take on the White Dwarf bit, but... - which was the news organ of the GW mail order department and a splendid little read on par with Flying Buffalo News.

It was this 'zine which brought you 'Battle Chairs' the rather tasteless - by today's weak chinned, liberal standards - expansion for the Battle Cars game which allowed injured drivers to get back on the highways in armed wheelchairs - don't knock 'em.

As I write my copy of the 'zine is at the side of me, but here's an intergoogweb pic of the cover:

There were some great articles in issue 2, but I was drawn to the centre spread which told of a forthcoming, nay, imminent game from Chaosium by the name of 'Ringworld' based on the books by Larry Niven.

Now, I read it, re-read it and I was hooked despite the eye watering £25 price tag which was I can tell you, bloody steep. Call of Cthulhu had been £19.99 and nearly wiped me out, so an 8 week saving plan of every penny I had spare was going to be like a lifetime in purgatory.

But, by use of my already burgeoning brush skills, I painted a few figures from the Grenadier Call Of Cthulhu monsters set - thereby rendering the set incomplete - and in a week had the funds as well as the cost of the promised Ringworld Companion.

Now came the inevitable round of daily - sometimes THRICE daily - visits to Games Workshop where I was a resident pain in the arse as outlined elsewhere and in fact ingrained into the psyche of former staff forever. I don't care who you were back than, there is no way, no way at all that you were in that store as much as me without receiving a salary for doing so, so don't even try to claim otherwise.

Anyway, for a change the release date came around pretty much as promised and I shelled out the funds for what was one of the densest sets of rules ever. Not only was the box filled with rule books and charts, but the books themselves were absolutely crammed to the point of bursting forth in a shower of 8 point type all over the place. And the artwork, oh the artwork. This was up there if not better than the 'Masks Of Nyarlathotep' or 'Horror On The Orient Express'. No it was definitely better as this was just 'something else' when compared to other sci-fi RPGs on offer.

Now, I had spent £3.99 on a copy of the Ringworld novel from Sheffield Space Centre and had read it twice by the time I got the game. I was a voracious reader and I can clearly recall being stretched out in my bedroom on the Dangermouse quilt cover with my 5 foot high pile of rule sets at the side of the bed, reading both game and novel as I listened simultaneously to 'Fugazi' by Marillion which was itself a fresh album and probably the most played album of that year for me. I remember as if I was there, that as 'Incubus' played, I daydreamed of observing the Ringworld from space, feeling myself tumble in the ink black sky, an infinitesimal speck against this monstrous artificial world.

Yes, I was hooked...

We played the game at Sheffield Wargames Society a few times, but this was a game which needed you to concentrate and put the time into it, so it faded as a favourite of our group in favour of Twilight 2000, but not before Darren Ashmore had his character's pet hamster, dropped into the food processing unit of his flycycle by Mark Bamford's Kzinti - 9 foot high feline warriors - character who then forced the resulting food brick down the stunned Darren's throat with the command 'EAT!'

Eventually the game went the way of all my games back then and was sold. Over the years I have picked up a few replacements but never got around to playing again, and as the game has become recognised as a classic, the prices have become staggering. In 1996 I paid £50 for the game and £30 for the companion - of which there were far more produced than there were rule sets - and felt I had got a good deal. On average I've paid £100 for a full set , so you my imagine that when I searched last week on a whim, I was amazed to find one for £49, which yes, I bought on the spot.

The morning after the purchase, I casually searched for the companion, with no real plan to buy on. But £10 ? £10 and MINT?

Too bloody right...

And so, as I cannot work without music or spoken word, I purchased the first 3 Ringworld audiobooks and rattled through the first one in two working days and started the second volume on Friday.

I cannot express just how much this game and the books impacted upon me. They got me interested in Larry Niven as a writer which led me to Robert Silverberg and a love for well crafted sci-fi writing of the space opera variety. I'd been introduced to Silverberg again, through the pages of White Dwarf and the excellent 'Critical Mass' column by Dave Langford - I think many of my generation can thank Mr Langford for broadening their reading tastes - and ever since that fateful evening in '84, I've retreated into a Niven or Silverberg fuelled reverie and thence into the 80s in my mind's theatre when I have felt down or stressed out.

This next week is going to be absolute hell as I try to finish orders in order to be able to close for three weeks on Friday the 15th, so I will keep myself on track by listening to the audiobooks. Once I get my studio broken down and cleaned on Saturday, I am going to pour myself a drink, stretch out on the bed, pop Fugzi on the iPod and read those rules once again. Perhaps I will bring memories both bitter and sweet to the fore, and I am certain I'll take more than a few moments to remember those friends who I, who we lost in the last 12 months. Hell, I know I'll end up crying and well and trully depressed, but I think it's time that I let the 'black dog' out for a run, to allow me to focus for what will hopefully be my 50th birthday year.

We shall see. We shall see...


Wednesday, 6 December 2017

WAAAARGH! For The Blood God...

Recon at Pudsey last weekend was a pleasant little show as always. It's not about massive display games, it's more parochial with a H.O.T.T tournament. a selection of fun participation games and a nice little selection of traders which, would benefit perhaps from some more manufacturers rather than quite so many re-sellers, but how many shows do you know where you can get 3 tickets, 3 good bacon sandwiches and 3 hot drinks with change from £20?

The bring and buy was doing brisk trade with usual slime ball dealers trying to snap up fast re-sale items. That aside, there were some nice bargains to be had but not many complete armies.

I picked up a rather nice metal Treeman for the memsahib's Sylvaneth army and a couple of other little bits, so it was a fun day out. 

As an aside we took the memsahib's mother with us as she has never really understood what it is I get up to, and she loved it and, was made welcome when she looked at displays and asked questions. 


When I got home, I did a bit of online shopping and acquired two nicely painted models for a very reasonable £35 for the Neferata and £10 for a Balrog:

On Sunday, I was laid in bed, listening to the Sunday Service on Radio 4, sipping coffee and surfing the web, when I came across a rather nice Age Of Sigmar Khorne Bloodbound army at £500.00. I wasn't actually looking for an army, but I offered £400 and the offer was accepted as long as I paid that day.

Mighty lord of khorne
4 Khorgoraths
5 Wrathmongers
40 Blood Warrors
75 Reavers3 Exalted death bringers
5 slaughter priests 
2 blood secraters 
1 skull grinder
1 skaar blood wrath
1 aspiring death bringer 
3 blood stokers 
Champion of chaos (silver tower) 
Battle tome 
Index reference card set

Then yesterday, I bagged an absolute bargain in the shape of a superbly painted Ork Megaboss on Maw Beast, which I paid bare plastic price for:

I also bagged a few more items, but I'll leave those for a future and more specialised post. Until then...


Friday, 1 December 2017


The Fall Of The Oldhammer Empire?

It seems to me, that the whole 'Oldhammer' craze or perhaps a better definition in the broader sense would be a 'movement' (I'll leave the interpretation of that term, to you, dear reader) is getting rather silly.

Of course, to many the hole concept of grown men playing with lead dollies is silly, but I don't mean it in that way.

Let me explain a few thoughts that I have been ruminating over...

The prices of the models being offered on eBay are frankly 'a fucking rip off'. These are models which are 3 decades old, not antique, nor are they 'rare' as many claim. I would use that term with a great deal of caution little ones, because to the generation who are championing  the 'cause' anything older than their current girlfriend is seen as vintage.

Nay, nay... These models were mass produced in the days before 'artisan' this and 'small batch' that and increasingly post 1982 or thereabouts sold for an average of 30p to CHILDREN. I was one of those children but already a veteran by then. WHFB was a new kid on the block, a snotty nosed upstart of a game, slotta bases were a nightmare waiting to visit us all, Games Workshop really was!

Now, if we apply some logic here, you don't set out to produce small numbers of miniatures for a potentially massive market, for a game which, is advertised as a game of massed battles... No, really, you don't. It's bad business sense to do so.

Now, I accept that many models will have gone under the knife, epoxy or (and I shudder to consider this) been melted down into Prince August moulds, but that is still a fraction of the models produced.

My own group probably all bought every 'Citadel Specialty Set' and most if not all of the 'Regiments Of Renown' as they were released... Not collectively you you understand, but EACH. We descended like locusts on every new release, and we were but a small speck in the customer base of GW Sheffield (albeit a force multiplier when it came to causing premature ageing in the staff) and by Harry those shelves were re-filled and re-filled. I could go in on Saturday, clean out every FT series Orc on the racks and behind the 'Figure Bar' - (look that up, the terminology is accurate) and by Monday when I went in again, they were replenished. When I sold my Orcs there were two CARIER BAGS filled to the brim.

I know a friend who filled the entire basement of the family manse with miniatures in piles on every flat surface... Like me, just a school kid.

So, my Oldhammer Hipsters, think on this before you try to chisel somebody for £20 for a 'rare' model. You're talking bollocks of the first order, sirs!

If you don't have the knowledge you'd be better off going back to the plastic, modern tat-filled gaming world folks... Really.

When you list a figure, don't describe it as rare just because you don't know what it is, or it does not have a slotta base. Admit that you don't know because you are not equipped with the information. If indeed you do have a desirable gem, the buyers will set the value with their bids.

Also, this here term, 'pre-slotta' is bandied around way too freely, even on figures that are current and which never had nor never will have those terrible plastic prosthetics rather than good, honest and decent metal bases. Take yourselves into the broader gaming world and look at how many manufacturers have not fallen prey to that disease... A metal base is no guarantee of vintage. Again, DO THE RESEARCH!

Similar comments might be made about rule sets and supplements... you don't really think that 2nd or 3rd ed are rare do you? Chumps! They were vehicles for selling lead... lots and lots of lead.

Elitist arrogance appears to be another problem with the new kids on the block. 'I have this model so I am more Oldhammer than you!' or 'if you are not using the very slotta bases that were used on those models, you are not worthy of consideration as a devotee.' are both things I have witnessed... Jesus, kids, I have disposed of more figures than you will ever own... But I am just a gamer. I have owned some really famous pieces from the golden age, from the celebrities (ie: gamers who made money from the hobby back in the day- nothing more) of the hobby, but at the end of the day they are just curios, lead dollies and ephemera not some kind of holy icon.

They were meant to be played with, not stuck in a cupboard and treated as an investment... If you want to show respect for a model or book you own which passed through the hands of one of the 'old sweats' - USE THE FUCKING THING!

Be certain, that those old metal models you have, probably will crumble in your lifetime, so enjoy them and then unless you have a market for lead dust, move them on, keep the story flowing, make the models do what they were sculpted to do.

I have noted of late that the Oldhammer 'movement' is starting to fragment, as internal squabbling breaks out. This is not unique - I have seen members of a defunct roleplaying group argue over who had more credibility by where they were on the original membership roster, as if this somehow bestowed upon them illuminated wisdom. Remember the decadence is the precursor to the fall of every empire in the history of mankind, and in this case the decadence seems to be pretty advanced.

These attitudes will simply kill the history of the hobby rather than preserve it. As you prevent or discourage others from taking part in your world, you merely enact your own extinction. If that is what you want to be remembered for, knock yourselves out boys.

Stop being so confident in the value of your collection, because for us all, the only certainty is a pine box and a few flowers, and your family wondering what to do with that room full of little models and cardboard boxes, once the ashes cool.


PS: Here's a thought; go out and buy some of the models which were advertised in early White Dwarf magazines and which, are still made by the same people for £1 - £1.50 per model, such as Essex and Denizen.

 Do them the honour of being rewarded for being one of the real torch bearers of this fine hobby.

Oh, and if you are going to claim on social media that you have had 'X' or 'Y' from the day of release, best make sure that you are not 'outed' by your date of birth being 10 years later than the release date - This I have seen...

Wednesday, 29 November 2017

Do You Remember...

No, not 'chalk hearts melting on a playground wall.'

Rather, those of a certain age will be able to remember just how bloody good the hobby was back in at the start of the 80s. True things were less polished, sometimes a bit risqué; but it did nobody any harm and there was a genuine love of the hobby amongst players and purveyors alike.

I was listening to the Grognard Files interview with the legendary Tim Olsen the other day and he hit the nail right on the head and without hyperbole, when he stated the case for Games Workshop stores being like a family.

they really were. OK, you had to run a gauntlet of abuse until you you got accepted in the Sheffield branch, but once you were accepted as a 13 or 14 year old the opportunities for social experiences and some damn good times were laid out for you in a banquet of geek indulgence, a bacchanalian feast of fantasy if you will.

My wife, did not meet me until 1988, by which time I was a Grognard myself at that heady age of 19, having served my time. Over the years she's met a lot of my friends from 'The Time Before', but is still meeting a good few more. She remembers GW just after it tried to get too big for it's boots, but had no experience of what the average store in the original 'Big Five' branches was like, until last night when I sat down with her to watch a You Tube upload of the 1983/4 TV magazine show 'South Of Watford' which as well as having some really good guest presenters including Michael Moorcock, investigating the 80s Punk revival, saw a young Ben Elton looking at the roleplaying phenomenon.

I'll not spoil it for you, but for those of you who want half an hour of time travel, take a look at the following three segments which make up the show:

I cringed and squealed with pleasure in equal measure.

It also contains the first media reference to 'Frothers', but in Sheffield there were rumours that there was an even more hardcore variant, known as 'Limpets' - I could not comment of course.


PS: Look out for a very young Jervis Johnson.

Tuesday, 28 November 2017

Are You Going To Recon At Pudsey? Do You Have Armies To Sell?

If anyone is going to Pudsey this Saturday for the RECON show, and has fully painted historical or fantasy armies for sale, please leave a message below...

I am buying!

RECON 2017

Pudsey Civic Hall
Dawson's Corner
LS28 5TA

Sunday, 26 November 2017

Uh Oh... The Space Cadet Returns.

It was a pretty uneventful week... Until I did a deal with a friend for some figures and as a 'sweetener' he included a copy of Snapshot by GDW, which was on my hit list, and which he knew I wanted and which I didn't know he had.

It's a stand alone game which can be integrated with the Traveller RPG and which is getting harder and harder to find in complete condition.

It's a pretty straightforward gunfight through the corridors of starships (or building complexes) and is a very pleasant evening's diversion.

Needless to say, I am very happy:

I returned this morning at 6AM from walking the pack of assorted Aberdeen and West Highland terriers which we employ for perimeter security here at Fackham Hall, absolutely exhausted after a mere 6 hours of sleep.

Before I crawled back to bed for a bit of a lie in ahead of breakfast, I got the random urge to search eBay for any of the FASA starship plan sets for Traveller and found that the chap who sold me the Mercenaries, Spies & Private Eyes had a set of Merchant Class Ships for sale and with less than three hours on the clock. The price was ridiculously low, as these sets sell at upwards of £50 on a regular basis. So, reckoning on the fact the other bidders either worked nights or lived outside of normal civilised time zones by looking at the bid history, I stuck a large sum on the lot and went to bed, emerging 19 minutes before the auction ended.

Well, whaddya know? I won at the paltry, almost embarrassing sum of £22.00 including postage.


As you can see, everything is unpunched and this gives me another 6 larger ships for some close up and dirty boarding actions.

Now all I need to do is place an order with RAFM for the old Citadel Traveller figures and it's a dead cert I'll be in uncontrolled free fall on an 80s temporal trajectory.

It looks like the fat las in the disco, won't let go, and has one of her friends helping her like a white miniskirted tag team, blotchy legs and all.

I've also been mulling over the way that being a 'nerd' has become fashionable. I am pretty certain that it now means that if it's cool to be a nerd, gamers will not feel quite as 'special' as we did back in the day. It's not helping with all this Oldhammer and Middlehammer bullshit which sees people (who in at least one case were not even alive when the figures they claim to have had since they were released - YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE YOU 'WALT') trying to relive the golden era, pushing up the prices of toys - for that is what they are - which were made to be played with, and then stashing them away.

Now, I know I have played my part in that in the last 36 years, but no more. The last time I got eaten up like this I literally destroyed the world market at the time for the Sheffield Samurai, which was the opening day (and least inspiring of all of the opening models) figure at GW Sheffield (and yes, I was there - read my book) and of which I obtained well over 50 from the estate of the former assistant manager of the Sheffield store, a charming and somewhat fearsome man who in my youth threw me out a few times - quite literally, onto the pavement.

Here is that pavement:

Anyway, a U.S dealer (and an asshole in my opinion) tried to tell me these were 'recasts'. Now, I don't like that kind of talk, and had Mr Sphincter done his homework, he'd have realised that I have a particularly venomous hatred for recasts which borders on the psychotically irrational, and as you may imagine he rubbed me up the wrong way and so I had one of those moments which generally follow one of my 'little episodes' and I sold them all at £2 each all over the world and wrecked his own plans to hike them out at a lot more (I actually sold a lot of them to people who were on his list). I know, I am petty, but hey that's the way I roll...

And so I have decided to play a little game. I am tempting these Hiphammer types with assorted wares and then when they are drooling I am (as the whim takes me)

A. Selling them cheaply but not to them, rather to gamers who will use them.

B. Removing them form the face of the earth entirely, if I am in a particularly acid frame of mind.

And, it's rather satisfying, because when we were kids these toy soldier were used and abused and we paid no thought to them becoming a new form of currency to a generation who are quite often antagonistic to my own for whatever reason is en vogue at the time.

By the way people, Warhammer was not the Christ child of fantasy games. There were other systems which were played before 1982... Word.

Anyway, time passes and as it's Sunday I will be selecting a 1980s film to enjoy with a Chinese takeaway shortly, so I'll leave you with some pictures of the icy little blast we endured here yesterday as we made our way firstly over the the Bakewell Christmas market and thence to Il Lupo at Baslow where they serve the finest liver in red wine that you will ever taste in truly relaxing surroundings.

We were glad to see that the restaurant had the open fire blazing...

And the chef was up to his normal standards. My own selections comprised:


Liver in the Venetiam style
Carrots with caraway seeds
Butter glazed carrots
Double cooked potatoes


On the way home I chanced upon what I think may be the smallest bespoke tailor's shop I have ever seen:

And yes, I will be going back there after Christmas for another bespoke three-piece in I think a mid weight grey Donegal.