And so, without further ado:
Pro painted: Daubed by someone with little talent, but their Mum said it looked nice, just get them out of her face.
Collector's standard: See 'pro painted' but this model has been at the back of Grandma's china cabinet where visitors would not see the embarrassingly talentless work of her grandson.
Museum grade: Painted in flat enamel colours, but at least the paint is within the lines.
Rare: Less than 200,000 made
Very rare: 'I have ten of these'
OOP: 3 years old
Long OOP: 5 years old
Recast: 'I want to keep the figure and get a refund.'
2nd Edition: Genuine recast
Sought after: 'I have ten of these and you are going to pay ten times the actual value.'
Slotta: Anything that has a little black plastic base
Pre-slotta: Anything that doesn't have that little plastic base on it. No matter who makes it.
Post-pre-slotta: 'I am going to fuck with you because you are taking the piss, mate.'
Unreleased: 'I am unable to see it in a GW catalogue.' - Because it's made by another company you fuckwit!
Once you have a handle on the above, you can easily decipher the arcane truth contained in any advert, so for instance:
Unreleased, pre-slotta Dwarf. Pro painted to Museum grade, collector's standard. Sought after.
This translates to:
Denizen Miniatures Dwarf - of which I have lots because my big brother gave them to me in a big box of Games Workshop figures last week. I have 'painted' one and although my Mum said it looked nice, only my Grandma is blind enough and kind enough to give it a home. I need some pocket money, so I have pinched it back from Gran's china cabinet and I'm going to try to screw you for £11.00*
* Ten times Denizen RRP