Sunday, 8 May 2016

How To Rest In Peace?

I was just this morning, sitting in the throne room of the Dark Tower, it being sunny and I having no other business to attend to, reading one of the numerous U.S model railroad magazines which I either buy or which are gifted to me by grateful publishers for this and that act of selfless sacrifice.

I noticed a rather intriguing article which looked at the thorny and oft-ignored matter of dropping dead, or if you are unlucky wasting away in a bed somewhere, with nobody who cares.

But in either cheery situation, the author asked what would happen with the railway you left behind.

A very good question, because a grieving widow may not know what that pile of copper, nickel, plastic and flock in the basement is actually worth, and may either simply throw it in a skip, give it away or get fleeced on eBay or by one of those traders who specialise in having no scruples about screwing their victims in the arse, and then selling the metaphorical pictures. (Don't worry, the nasty images in your head will pass, but if not - tough shit. This blog is not Wonderland, Alice).

I was surprised and pleased to read that the NMRA who are the de facto 'official voice' of model railroading in the U.S, do have counsellors to help with the matter of disposing of a collection, post mortem, and what's more they even hold 'clinics' at conventions.

Why then, do we in wargaming (for that is the cap I wear this afternoon, being a libertine, gadfly of varied taste and disposition) not have a similar approach?

It's of course a wild lie that a gamer cannot die whilst he has unpainted lead. Gamers can and I have known friends who have, proved that myth to be just that, leaving rooms full of unvalued lead at the not-so-tender mercies of bottom feeding dealer (no, I won't name names today, but many of you will have an image or a name in your head as you read this, I am sure)

Perhaps, we should predetermine a date or point in our lives when we divest ourselves of the vain fripperies and trappings of of lead lives, and simply invest in something that we can leave to our loved ones chosen cause or favourite brothel (let's face it, the only way some gamers will have been laid is to sell a few figures and wander down Acacia Avenue in the twilight) which will have some value that they can pin down more easily. Silver or gold are pretty good for the long haul, I'd say, but that is just my opinion. I am already, at 48 starting to look to the infinite void, the last failed saving throw the big pike press in the sky, and attend to these matters.

Perhaps there are some professionals out there, who might consider lessening their time in purgatory (for many will end up there, for those times they've said 'This? Oh I have had this army for years...' to cover up another purchase at a show) and offering to help less informed gamers in making those last arrangements. Perhaps they could charge a small fee which was then donated to a worthy charity such as 'Help For Heroes'.

It's a thought to consider, I'd say.

In other news, I have just spent a half hour which I don't ever wish to repeat. The old Ral Partha Imps on wolves, never had standard bearers or musicians, but there is a need for suitable models under most rule sets. Thus, I had to remove the scimitars from eight of mine, and then drill the hand, to allow the fitting of a standard pole. My hands are still shaking, but I still have all my fingers and no additional perforations to my handsome body as a result. The musicians will not be converted. Rather I will simply paint a wolf in white as the musician for the unit, it being a specially bred musical white wolf (Lupus Decibellus in Dog Latin) whose distinctive howl serves as a call to charge, run away or just sort  yourselves out in the nomadic goblin tribes of my imaginary world.

They are not much bulkier than your average 15mm figure and so, the work is fraught with opportunities to get hurt.

Right, I think it's time for a nice hot bath and a milky coffee, before dinner and an improving 80s film.(all 80s films are thus, of course)


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