Like A Crack Whore, I am Addicted, And It's All the Fault of E.T...

Any gamer of a particular vintage and for whom, fantasy gaming has an enduring appeal, should be able to pinpoint the most famous appearance of D&D in popular culture - namely the opening scenes of the 1982 film 'E.T' and even more memorably in the novel of the same name by William Kotzwinkle.

In these portrayals, the kids appear to have a really sexy looking 3D representation of the the dungeon, which was way, way beyond anything on the market at the time.

In fact, when a new kid started at our school, some months after, and, seeking to impress us hardened 14 year old gaming veterans with his own 'cred', announced that he had just such a dungeon model, we made it clear in no uncertain terms that he was 'talking bollocks'.

We may have been the bullied and put upon minority in the wider world of comprehensive education, but, by golly we were the High, the Lords Of Taste, and in this case Board Of Execution in all matters relating to gaming. In fact we would only bow to those mythical (or so we thought in those heady days) figures a few years older than us, who worked in the newly opened Games Workshop (and it really was, back then).

Anyway, we saw this mountebank interloper off, and he was later seen with the lower orders, indulging in field sports and speaking to members of the opposite sex. Obviously, our instincts were spot on!

Anyway, over the years a few proprietary dungeons scenery systems came along, as well as some home made offerings, such as the rather nice cave system, built by the Sheffield Runelords and used as a participation game at the Sheffield Triples, but none really 'hit the sweet spot'.

Then, in 1996, along came geek genius Stefan Pokorny with 'Dwarven Forge', setting the standard to this day for 3D dungeonscapes. Cast in a polystone resin and superbly painted, these were the discerning gamer's choice. They were also bloody expensive and heavy. I remember in 1999, buying £300 worth of DF scenery and being a little chagrined at just how little I actually a got.

This was a rich man's product, a dalliance for the dilettante chequebook gamer. And so, I disposed of the pitiful selection and went back to tabletop historical gaming.

Then, a couple of years back, DF announced that they would be producing dungeons in a poly based material called 'Dwarvenite' which is a wonderfully robust, light and cheaper alternative. It remains however a product for the committed gamer, with a whiff of elitist panache which narcissists like myself (IE: the majority of gamers) can savour like a decent wine, or truffle butter.

This year, I have decided that life is indeed not a dress rehearsal, and reasoned that as I am almost a half century old, and somewhat comfortable if not wealthy, I am only going to indulge in the finer things which please my eye, stimulate my mind and moreover appeal to me if not others.

I have decided that where practicable, I will engage other painters to paint my own collection. After all, I paint for a living, and want to do other things in my spare time. I will only buy the best models, obscurest artwork, etc... In short I am pleasing myself, whilst I may. with the provision that it is done on a 'cash down' basis. If the money is available I will indulge myself and if not then I will wait patiently until it is. Not for me the credit card, as placebo pacifier of wanton retail lust.

Anyway, last week, after deciding that I would not be attending any further shows this year and after ordering 800 or so figures from Ebor Miniatures, I rashly (and without reason) happened upon the Dwarven Forge, european distributor's website.

Uh oh...

Cash in pocket + thing of beauty + cache of said product = palpitations and desire of an almost sexual nature!

So, I put together a small order...

And added a bit...

And a bit more...

And then like the gaming 'Crack Whore' aesthete I am, ended up with an order just over £1500 in value, and the idea of a display game, brewing.

The order went in at 12:30AM Monday and is due today, a mere 24 hours later, and it comprises:

2 x Chamber Of Sorrows Limited Edition set




5 x Starter sets




1 x Diagonal Wall pack



1 x Floor Pack



1 x Narrow Passage set



1 x Dungeon Dressings Pack



1 x Grand Stair Pack



1 x Cavern Pack




1 x Lava Cavern Pack


1 x Cavern Expansion Pack




1 x Water Cavern Pack



1 x Chasm Pack



1 x Cavern Floor Pack





1 x Narrow Cavern Passages Pack




1 x Mushroom Pack




1 x Ice Cavern Pack



1 x Den Of Evil Room Set



1 x Den Of Evil Expansion Set



1 x Catacombs Set (with sexy LED features)



1 x Catacombs Expansion Set (more of those fucking sexy LED bits)



1 x Ice Snake (well he's pretty)




And, just like any addict, I am already looking for the next 'hit'...

I think I'll add more passages and caverns in the New Year as well as more of the lakes and Grand Stair packs, but for now, I think I have enough to be going on with, especially as I am also waiting on the delivery of 40 buildings in kit form for my latest model railroad.

Well, I guess I should bid you a fond adieu, and go and earn more pennies to feed my hopeless addiction...


TTFN