Monday, 25 December 2017
A Christmas Post...
Well, I woke up this morning with that certain self-knowledge that I was on the brink of entering the arena of the unwell. Tight chest, cough, general feeling of unwellness. Sure enough, as I write, I have the sweats, a dry cough, sore throat, temperature and feel very rough. Just in time for the great day when I had planned to eat a lot of dead wildlife with numerous roasted tubers.
So, I've double dosed on vitamins, C, D and zinc, sucked a Bronchostop pastille and partaken of the lemon flu powder, as the memsahib prepares tuna mayonnaise for a round or two of sandwiches.
Anyway, it's been a fun day despite the caress of Death touching my brow, as we finished the last few bits of shopping and I decided that I'd been a very good boy this year and deserving of half a dozen formal shirts from T.M Lewin of Jermyn Street who make the very best 'off the peg' shirting you can buy. Like I said, I've been very good this year.
The memsahib was preparing the various meats for Monday's table, but the pork, being freshly slaughtered, retained a skin elasticity that would make a Hollywood Housewife proud. The problem therefore is that even the sharpest kitchen knife struggles.
And then, I had an idea...
'Nip into my studio and grab a fresh No10 blade and size 3 Swann Morton handle.'
That's right, a surgical scalpel cuts pig skin rather wonderfully. Alas, I also did for my finger and was squirting like a porn star, albeit squirting 'claret'.
AT THIS POINT, I WAS FEELING PRETTY ILL, SO I WENT TO BED...
I'm picking up the story this morning, December 25th after a really rather awful night of fever, bronchial pain, mucus and the most horrific nightmares, so forgive me if I lack my usual sparkle.
I had meant to finish off last night, with a little warmer's tale of how I'd received a 1p piece in my change whilst on a foray in Derbyshire on Friday which upon inspection bore the unmistakeable marks of having once belonged to a fellow gamer:
With the shape it would appear to have house either a Minifigs or Airfix model, but what is more fascinating for me is that it's the first time in almost 4 decades - and despite the number of misused coins in gamer's collections - that I have received one in an innocent mercantile exchange.
This morning as I have already hinted, I awoke feeling very poorly indeed, and although I do feel a bit better, know I'll have the same bloody awful symptoms every morning for the next week or so.
And so, apart from bronchitis, what did St. Nick bring upon this fair morn?
Well actually, the most exciting haul since the year received the 'Prince Charming' album by Adam & The Ants and a collection of electronic arcade games.
From the memsahib:
Versace 'The Dreamer'
From The parents:
Monogrammed leather case with hip flask
From brother and sister in law
Personalised crystal brandy glass
From my brother:
The complete series of that 80s classic 'Chance In A Million'
And now, if you will excuse me, I do need to go and have a long hot soak to ease my chest a little.
May your festive period be a happy and peaceful one!