Afghan Deserters, Big Wood & The Futility Of Skirmish Gaming

 And so it came to pass that on Thursday morning, our new (and probably the most inept, ever) postman delivered a large box of 28mm Afghans from my painter.

Yesterday afternoon, I actually got to sit down and unwrap several hundred models, basing them as I did so - well, sticking them to the bases - and boy but, did I manage it in 4 hours!

The only snag was that I caame up short by 10 tribesmen, 30 regulars and 9 cavalry at the end of it. Now, I was not too worried, because I knew my trusted and efficient painter had painted those models - I'd seen the pics - but still, they had to be located.

12 hours later, they were discovered in a box having been stored safely, and so they will be sent to me on Monday - Hussah!

Saturday was spent across in Doncaster, because I wanted to see the new Danum Gallery and Museum, which did not disappoint. It's not a 'large' gallery but it's surprisingly good, housing two Doncaster built steam locomotives, the Yorks & Lancs regimental museum, a tidy little general museum and a passable art gallery up on the third floor. Well worth a visit if you are in the area and I have to say that the staff were fantastic, not something I can say about Sheffield museum staff, these days. 

Well, as we returned to the car, I popped into a British Heart Foundation furniture store and as if drawn by some great and daemonic power, I found this bloody great wooden shelving unit, which is exactly what I need for the new gaming room.

I paid £75 for it which is a price I'd pay, and indeed did, without thinking about it - particularly because £50 of that was delivery charges - or even bloody measuring the height. Luckily it is just right and should hold several thousand 28mm figures in comfort.

 

Today, I heard that the window for the gaming room will be ready on the 4th of August, so I'll not have the room fitted out before my annual month off in August, which is a shame. Still, the carpet should hopefully be fitted on the 6th, so I'll at least have the room functioning if not populated.

I've been getting a few comments about my armies being too large in a few public arenas, which to someone of my gaming vintage is simply absolute tosh, bordering on total bollocks. 

I dispair at these folk who think that 60 figures (or less, in the most tragic cases ) constitutes an 'army'. At best, that's a brigade...

Look, you pay £30 to £50 for a set of skirmish rules, £100 or so on die cut MDF scenery that looks like it was re-zoned from Toy Town and then £50 or more on a handful of fairly average figures, because they are 'Official' models and you know that those 'Official' Vikings are superior to any others because they are so, well - 'official'.

Me, I'd rather buy 150 or so figures and have a traditional competition army for the same outlay. Hell, I'd rather buy several hundred, well designed and temptingly priced models and field a true 'army'. I do think thgere's a place for a skirmish game as part of a larger picture, or for such things as gladiatorial or similar games, but I'd never have the cheek to call a few figures in a shoe box and 'army'.

No, I come from a time when Macfarlane, Gilder and Wise strode across the world, like an Elder God hearing the chants of a New England cult. These were times when men fielded true armies and those who could not do so, played golf or collected sports cars - both cheaper than gaming.

Now we live in a time when companies milk and bilk the punters like ants with aphids. The periods are often not even a 'period' proper, but a case of harsh words shouted across a bar in disputed territory. The magazines are owned by the companies either metaphorically or actually, and so the cycle continues. When will the madness end? If you don't injure your shoulder carrying the models you are using from the car to the club room, you probably don't own an 'army'. Just suck it up and live with the fact that you're probably never going to have a fulfilled gaming life.

Now, here's where I get hoist by my own petard (funnily enough, skirmish games are about the only time a petard should be seen on the gaming table ) when I say that I;ve been looking for a project for my painter, once he's painted the British to face the Afghans, and then the Scots Covenanters that are on their way to him. 

I'm actually contemplating building two forces for the war which never was, the U.S invasion of Canada in the 19th century. Those damnable Perry Twins hooked me - ME! - with the idea of stalwart red coated Brits having to face the might of the Union army, albeit as a 'what if' scenario. Then of course there's the Fenian Raids of 1866. Damn, but are those figures nice.

I can see a future wherein Roger gives me some severe 'stick' about it, and I am not generally interested in what have become 'Imagi-Nation' games, but as this one was so close to actually kicking off, it's just too tempting to miss.

So, I am going to read a few accounts and look a few pictures of troops of the period, and I reckon that it will be a done deal that it ends in tears for my wallet.

Well, if you will forgive me, I have a few chores to attend to before I can sit down to an improving 80s film tonight, and so, I will bid you farewell for the present.

TTFN