Musings On 'Sizzle'

 I was in a store at the weekend, making one of those rare journeys outside which mean I have cabin fever or the need for a rare delicacy, marinated in obscure oils and spices.

Anyway, the store in question stocks just about every paint range you could imagine apart from the classic enamels which were the paints du jour for those of us on the cutting edge of the 70s.

I was wandering around and overheard a conversation between two of those flat-capped, skinny-jeaned types with beards, who were looking at several of these modern ranges, but discussing in earnest how they wanted to recreate the feel of old school painting with a handful of product lines which frankly would not have been invented. I mean invented, not just an unknown brand.

The amount of bloody pointless materials they had between them, had me sniggering. There was a pointless array of products which promised this and that, but which at the end of the day were the same basic pigments in various dilutions and in some cases just the power pigments.

There seems to be a sense with so many painters, that just by using a given product line, they will be a better painter. Quite often, this is a complete load of bollocks. They are being offered the same product with a flashier label or new trademarked names.

A sausage is a sausage, until you apply heat and get that 'sizzle' going. It's still a tube filled with varying degrees of otherwised indigestible body parts. But, when you apply the heat correctly, that bag of offal can look quite appetising, and late at night, you can believe that it's something more than it actually is.

And many of these new paints are just like those sausages. The 'sizzle' is the degree of furore which can be created by the companies. But unless you have experience of the actual medium, and a modicum of talent, then you are simply going to be buying the same sausage, which when it cools, is the same greyish tube of pig's bollocks.

Some may argue that these new products have taken miniature painting to a new level. This is also, metaphorical pig's bollocks. Find a few random magazines form the 70s and 80s, and you will see some godlike paintwork, undertaken with the most basic assortment of materials. The diference was that thos eartists. learned how to use the materailas, and read the manufacturers technical notes, before tearinbg them up and experimenting on their own. The late Pete Armstrong was a master of this approach, as were several others. To this day, I can identify a Pete Armstrong or Steve Pepper piece or indeed in the rare instance I find one, a classic Andy Ritson figure.

These days, with the plethora of online tutorials, you have a colouring book mentality, where the idea of actually having your own style, derived from knowledge or a nod to another painter seems alien. The beauty of the hobby is that there can be so much variety. Cloning styles ad nauseum drains the colour and interest from it, and should be discouraged. 

I saw a post on a social media group yesterday, where someone was asking if his model was 'good enough for the tabletop'. REALLY?

If you are happy with your work, then it has sod all to do with anyone else. If someone gives you a positive comment, then it's great, but if you don't want to put a model on the tabletop because you have isues with how it's painted, then perhaps you should think seriously about whether you are a gamer or a painter. This vanity is one of the contributing factors towards the trending of 'skirmish' gaming.  Get it painted neatly and get it played with, for Gygax's sake!

I saw a so-called pro painter the other day (whom I will not name) who was 'bigging up' his 'studios' (a studio yes, but studios, no - he's not fucking Warner Brothers. One room is a studio 'singular'), online and I confess that I had to do a double take when I saw the stuff that he was actually charging people to paint. I can genuinely say that it was not even fit to be used as an undercoat. He was posing in front of a wall of materials, and I presume, he literally just slopped various products on to create one hell of a mess, before issuing the bill.

Now, don't get me wrong, I spend a four figure sum every year on materials, but I buy what I will use, what will genuinely make a difference to the finished product and which I understand. I glaze over when I walk into a place and I am being sold a new line which is 'the next big thing in the hobby' because the chances are (and I sometimes have sen a product which performs in a new or improved way) I have something on one of my racks which does it better already.

It's all sizzle, sizzle sizzle...