For The Emperor! Or How Winter Makes Me Yearn For Sci-Fi Despite Past Experience...

 Now, I am far from a Games Workshop Fanboy. True, I was indeed the first customer of the Sheffield branch back in the day and true, I did almost spend more time there, than at home, but over the years, I've really not been that bothered by the whole Grimdark thing because I grew up in a time when starships on TV were on wires, and the insides of them were gleaming and bright.

I played a fair amount of the original Rogue Trader when it was released and had some fun games. Alas, 40K also carries with it some rather nasty emotional baggage, as it sort of coincided with the break up of my first 'adult' relationship  at a time when I was emotionally pretty screwed up. That said, it was also there when the whole thing came to a head.

My girlfriend at the time was becoming more and more, well, 'unhinged' having been caught several times sleeping around with my friends and thereby destroying those friendships either permanently or at least for 30 years or so at best. Now, I should have simply walked away, I know that with age and hindsight, but the 19 year old male, who has burned his bridges with his family and at the same time found what he (wrongly) believes to be 'love' is never a stable decision making platform at the best of times.

Anyway, we were living in a shared house at the time, I'd not been an angel myself and had met the girl who I now call my soulmate and after a drunken night in town had told her I was marrying my girlfriend. The memsahib went to Leeds and I sobered up and went into a terminal spiral.

My girlfriend, let's call her Rita, was going out more and more, and I could not work out where she was getting the money - yet. Note: It transpired she was using my store cards to buy stuff, then selling it local pubs to get money for her nights out. This came back and bit me in the ass about 8 months later.

I was going out with my friends and sometimes couch surfing at my parent's place as uncomfortable a situation as that was and it was after one of these nights, that I met my friends in townand one of them mentioned he'd seen Rita in a pub the night before witha guy who, had mentioned that he was going to teach me a lesson by taking my figure ccollection - largely 40K at the time - and bin the lot - obviously at the behest of Rita and wanting no doubt to prove himself a bravo, or as a friend said as 'having a death wish'.

So, I invited the lads around for coffee and cabaret...

I got home, undlocked the door and we trooped in, to find that on the srtaircase were a pair of workboots and a rather awful leather jacket, a pair of my boots (always kept in my closet) and hushed voices coming from my bedroom.

Looks were exchanged winces likewise, and  I set off, checking the living room and the glass shelves with what was admittedly a pretty scarce collection of 40K figures (the 15mm Franco Prussians were locked away in the cellar) - so far so good. Then it was upstairs where I flung open the bedroom door, to find a rather shocked Rita and what I can only describe as a 'decrepit specimen of the male sex' all acne and bad hair, in my bed, used plates on the floor, and more of my clothing in a pile.

Now, when I am 'on one' it's not the best time to expect me to behave with the manners I was brought up with, nor am I subtle, but in my defence, I was already pretty mentally imbalanced at the time, without this vignette of debauchery.

Well, I went off like like the proverbial thermonuclear warhead - I am a little embarrassed to relate.

At this time, I was all black leather, long purple hair and teenage attitude, so in my current state I must have been a nightmare to have to face first thing in the A.M.

Rita just glared at me, but the kid in my bed lost all his colour...

'You! You can wear my clothes. You can eat my food. You can sleep in my bed. You can even fuck my girlfriend...'

At this point, Rita's glare changed to more of a 'WTF?' expression.

'But if you ever, EVER touch my figures, I will find you and kill you...'

At this point the poor kid jumped out of bed quickly dressed and went downstairs - to fing about 7 of my mates in the kitchen in front of the only exit. The poor kid was shaking like a leaf, Rita was yelling that he needed his insulin (she knew this after a single night? Fuck me...) and the guy ran up the stairs into the bathroom and shut the door.

A few moments later, he came out, with a small gush of blood from his stomach, having botched his injection in there, I assume because he was shaking so badly. Rita screamed - she had been a drama student - 'He's bleeding, help him!'

To which your correspondent said 'I can give him some aspirin!' before leaving the scene with a final admonishment to 'Keep away from my fucking figures and get out of my hose.'

Well, my book will tell you the rest, but of course, I was soon against akl the odds with my beloved memsahib and beginning a slow rebuilding of my trust in the world, but never really getting as cosy as I would have liked with my 40K gaming.

Over the years, I have played a lot of sci-fi and for some reason, every year as the nights draw in and the weather gets colder, I get an urge for some sci-fi gaming, and oddly, I crave 40K, but, apart from a few false starts I've never really gone back to 40K as it got darker and more gothic - odd for a reformed Goth - although the Horus Heresy has managed to interest me. I'm not that bothered about the rules, but the old school look of the models has me planning and plotting. 

So, yesterday, deciding that if I have the terrain, there's more chance of me actually buying the figures - we can cross the rules set Rubicon later - and so, I purchased a nice little terrain set, all scratchbuilt and impressively large:

 

The cathedral is 18 inches high by 36 inches long and will provide a great centrepiece to what I hope will be a rather nice sci-fi combat environment. 

Just this morning, the builder has let me know that there's another city set available, so I may just bite the bullet and buy that too. 

After all, build it and they will come, may also apply to little toy soldiers too...

TTFN